Searching for Utopia

“It’s very fashionable to be in rehab. This whole thing is a total indulgence. Britney and Robbie need to get a grip. We’ve allowed these people to feel sorry for themselves. I don’t know what’s going on in Britney’s head but my attitude is I couldn’t care less. She should go back and live with her mum for six months.”

“I would make it compulsory that they have to go and live in a developing country for a couple of weeks. And then when you get home, as your butler is opening your curtains and making sure your bath water is the right temperature, you’ll realise everything is fine.”

…”Britney Spears isn’t exactly working in a coal mine is she? Everyone will agree with you and physically making an album is a doddle.”

…”I’ve heard Rudebox and it’s terrible. If it was by anyone else, it wouldn’t have been released.”

- Music Rooms

He hits the nail on the head this time. Team Simon!

It reads “koruptor“, which means—if it’s not obvious—corruptor. The accompanying words more or less mean: “don’t keep it wet. Just HANG it! So it will dry faster.” [Kompas]

Spread the words!

“Don’t blame George W. Bush: Chaos in U.S. foreign policy is nothing new. But pity those, whether the Hungarians in 1956, or the Shiites in 1991, who take our democracy rhetoric too literally: Sometimes we really mean it — and sometimes we don’t.”

–The Washington Post’s Anne Applebaum

“Apparently I spelled ‘harass’ wrong. It was horrible! I couldn’t remember whether it was one ‘r’ or two, and I asked like four people, and they said two!” [Female First]

Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightly when they were being harrased (sic)

* Charlotte Church: “George Bush hasn’t got a clue what he’s doing. He asked me what state Wales was in. I said, ‘It’s its own country next to England, Mr. Bush.’ I thought, ‘You t***.’”

* Myleene Klass: “A few days ago this woman came up to me and said, ‘Has anyone ever told you you look like Myleene Klass?’ and I said, ‘Yeah, I get told that a lot,’ and she said, ‘Oh, but in fairness, she’s a lot fatter than you’. She was bitching me without even realising!”

* Paris Hilton: Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.

* Cameron Diaz: “The British are so incestuous. They pass partners around as if they were passing popcorn at a movie.”

* Scarlett Johansson: “I don’t think human beings are monogamous by nature. It’s difficult - you have to put a lot of effort into a relationship.”

* David Beckham: “I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.”

* Eva Longoria: “After I spoke openly about vibrators I literally got boxes and boxes of free sex toys sent to me. So I was constantly giving them away. Even before that I’d give them to girlfriends for their birthdays and they’d be so excited.”

* Jennifer Aniston: I don’t get sent anything strange like underwear. I get sent cookies.

* George Clooney: “I’m only two years older than Brad Pitt, but I look a lot older, which used to greatly frustrate me. It doesn’t anymore. I don’t have to fit into that category and get trounced by Tom Cruise and Brad.”

* Pete Doherty: “I’ve got two (children). Poor little fucker. My sister sees him all the time, so there’s affection as a family for him. I don’t really want to go into that because it’s not fair on the kids or the mother. It’s enough for me to say I love them and would do anything for them.”

* Robbie Williams: “An awful lot of gay pop stars pretend to be straight. I’m going to start a movement of straight pop stars pretending to be gay.”

* Jake Gyllenhaal: “The sheep were interesting. They were the easiest thing. They just naturally herd, and they are naturally stupid.”

* Lingerie model Michelle Leslie on people’s criticism for her wearing a veil during her courts on drugs possession in Indonesia as an effort to gain people’s sympathy: “I was a Muslim long before any of this happened. You can be a Muslim regardless of your clothes.”

* Jessica Simpson, a week before her divorce from hubby Nick Lachey was confirmed: “Hopefully mine and Nick’s story will continue for the rest of our lives, like what we vowed, through sickness and in health.”

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey

* Pamela Anderson: “It is great to be a blonde. With low expectations it’s very easy to surprise people.”

* The Darkness’ Justin Hawkins: “Chris Martin - what are those seven deadly sins? Greed? Sloth? Calling your child Apple?”

* Keira Knightly on her cool mom: “When I was a child my mother and I would always talk about sex. She’s come up to my room and have me roll cigarettes for her and then tell me I had to have one with her. She’s the perfect mum.”

* Ozzy Osbourne on his wife Sharon before her plastic surgery: “People must have gone, ‘What does Ozzy Osbourne see in an overweight girl? Why hasn’t he got some floozy; a blonde like a ROD STEWART kind of wife? But there you’ve got the answer to the question. How many times have I been married and how many times have other people been married?”

* Bai Ling: “I’m very private in person. I’m very sensitive and shy with men individually. But when I’m talking, maybe there’s this other channel or this other side and other way of working in my mind, and I convert and become carefree.”

Bai Ling

* Jackie Chan: “Don’t try to be like Jackie. There is only one Jackie. Study computers instead.”

* Naomi Campbell: “I don’t always wear underwear. When I’m in the heat, especially, I can’t wear it. Like, if I’m wearing a flower dress, why do I have to wear underwear?”

* Robbie Williams: “When I first met him [David Beckham] I didn’t know whether to shake his hand or lick his face.”

* Sharon Osbourne: “I was at the TEEN CHOICE AWARDS with Kelly and little girls were screaming over Paris Hilton. A f**king piece of scrawny old grizzle who’s only famous for sucking c**k in a home-made porn video–My kids are good role models.”

* Kimberly Stewart on Jennifer Aniston: “I like her because she’s homely. She obviously has to have something else - it’s not like she’s gorgeous or anything.”

* Kimberly Stewart (again) on Paul McCartney and his amputee wife: “What has three legs and lives on a farm? Paul McCartney and his wife.”

* Jessica Simpson: “Platypus? I thought it was pronounced platymapus. Has it always been pronounced platypus?”

* Christina aguilera: “So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”

* Brad Pitt: “I phoned my grandparents and my grandfather said ‘we saw your movie’. ‘Which one?’ I said. He shouted ‘Betty, what was the name of that movie I didn’t like?’”

* Catherine Zeta Jones: “I was never a jealous woman, and if I were, I’d never tell a reporter!” she said. “I never had a fight over jealousy and regarding Michael, if a man looks at him, I’ll be angry, but if it’s a woman it’s better for me because with her, I’ll solve the problem with a sword.”

* Jennifer Lopez: “I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge.”

* Diddy: “I feel safe in white because deep down inside, I’m an angel.”

* Paris Hlton: “No one is ever competition for me.”

* Angelina Jolie: “I wouldn’t be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife.”

* Katie Holmes (before Tomkat era): “I watch Brad Pitt movies and I think: ‘I’m here, call me’.”

* Michael Jackson on his album Invincible: “Incvincible is the proper name. I have been the artist with the longest career and I am so proud and honoured to be chosen from heaven to be invincible.”