Searching for Utopia

Today Adam is ten months and eight days. He only gained a few grams since last month, but at 10 kg and 82 cm he’s still bigger than other infants in the same age.

His four teeth appeared exactly on the same day a few weeks ago. I thought brushing his teeth would be a difficult task. It turned out that he loves getting them brushed.

Besides finger toothbrush, I also use Spiffies twice daily. He simply can’t get enough of them.

If you can’t get toothwipes, you could make you own. Just wet a small clean cloth with luke warm water. Wrap it around your index finger, and it’s ready to use. Not sure whether the baby will like it as much though. I’ve never tried this myself.

However, dental hygiene is important. Maybe I’m a bit paranoid about this, but you can never be too careful.

I know as mothers we have like never ending tasks to do. Well, who said raising a kid was a part time job? For that reason, I’ve seen many mommies forgot to pay extra attention to their children’s dental care.

I hope I’m not one.

Not only decayed teeth will mar the baby’s smile and give him unpromising breath, they may affect the growth of the permanent teeth.

If you asked me about Manohara Odelia Pinot, 17, three months ago, I’d certainly say I had never heard of her. But within these last two months she’s probably become more famous than Susan Boyle in Indonesia.

The reason? It’s none other than her “Cinderella” story. In short, last year the girl married a thirty-year-old prince from Kelantan, Malaysia. Yet, instead of living happily ever after, she ended up locked in the palace. The prince charming allegedly abused and using her as a sex slave. She was said to have her breasts slashed and things like that . Long story short, the tale has become national headlines thanks to Mano’s mommy dearest, Daisy Fajarina.

And at last, Mano could flee from her husband while she’s in Singapore. She reportedly called the local police and pleaded for help. Now she’s back in Indonesia and already filing for divorce. Good for her.

Momma Fajarina, on the other hand, was still working her fifteen minutes of fame. Always being helpful to the press, she provided all details of the treatments received by her daughter, and ended it by saying, “No parent could be silent if their child was treated in such a barbaric way.”

Well since I’m a mother myself, I couldn’t agree more with her on that. But then again, no parent in their right mind to give consent to their underage daughter to get married at all — and especially not to a 30-year-old man!

There may only be two reasons for the marriage to be so urgent. First, if Mano couldn’t live unless she received financial support from the guy. But this is obviously not the case Mano’s situation. She’s a model, and she was actually romantically involved with Adrie Bakrie, the son of Aburizal Bakrie. Just thinking, how old was she when she started dating? Hmm, and mommy actually allowed that?

Anyways, the second reason is if Mano had unplanned pregnancy. But this is also not the case. So why Ms Fajarina didn’t ask the prince to wait is beyond me. Mano was not short of suitors, so it’s like mommy was selling her to the highest bidder.

Would she give her consent if the guy weren’t a prince? Nah! Methinks it’s clear what her motive was in marrying her daughter to this prince. She was actually the one to introduce the prince to Mano at a gala dinner hosted by the Malaysian PM when she was only 14, saying that the prince wanted to befriend her. Lame!

Many parents see their children as long-term investments. Just think of the old saying “banyak anak banyak rejeki” or “many children, much fortune’, which means children are the major source of income. In other words, children must repay their parents — usually materially. Of course there’s nothing wrong with children helping their parents, especially when they can afford it. But it’s not okay to ask them to give more than what they could.

Don’t forget, parents may choose whether or not they want a child — and not the opposite.

Just thought I’d share a picture of Adam with you guys. Here he is at Istana, on last Labor Day.

Now in his sixth month, he’s 9 kg and 75 cm. His height is already more than half of mine. In short, he’s BIG, but not that kinda big. His height and weight percentiles are evently matched–both are over 90 per cent.

Who knows, I could be weightlifting champion by next year!

Still being in confinement, lately I haven’t followed much news. Two days ago Zsolt passed me this article, and it really breaks my heart to read it:

“After 21 days at the Children’s Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital (KKH), baby Rizal Idris breathed his last.

He was barely a month old.

The baby, who weighed 2.93kg at birth on 27 Nov, had been fighting for his life because of a bacterial infection that his mother had caught while she was carrying him.

His mother did not know that she was suffering from a vaginal infection that affects about 14 per cent of pregnant women here. She gave birth to him at KKH.

Baby Rizal suffered from what is known as Group B Streptococcus Infection (GBS). It was passed on from his mother, Madam Norashikin Latiff, 31, during delivery.”

This could happen to anyone. I was also tested positive for this GBS, but I was more fortunate because I opted for C-section–not just because of this infection, but other complications too.

I did panic when I heard of my test result. I can relate to Madam Latiff. In many cases doctors seem to be too busy to take some time to explain to their patients. In my case, my gynae hardly spent more than five minutes with me — sometimes even less. Fortunately both Adam and I are healthy.

At times I found it difficult to accept than one moment I was told I had an infection, and the next minute I was told to calm down as if nothing happened. I’m sure it’s only because the doctor had too many patients in line, but patients are paying, aren’t they? In general I feel like many of my questions went unanswered as she was always in a hurry to dismiss me, and the nurses were impatient and quick-tempered. I won’t return there ever again, and if all patients think like I do, then she’d lose her cash-machine.

Anyways, my thoughts go with baby Rizal’s family. And perhaps this is an eye opener for the rest of us. It’s very important for us, mommies, to find the right gynae. And even if we have, don’t forget to get second opinion when you’re in doubt.

A month after Adam was born, I’ve already thought of trying to get things back to the way they used to be. What I mean by that is to shed my baby weight, put on a little make up while the hubby is around, or get my hair a Korean perm or something like that.

…

To tell the truth, it’s like a mission impossible. Kudos to mommies who have three kids and could still manage to look their best, but I just can’t find the time–at least for now. Perming my hair will take at least four hours, and meanwhile whom can I leave my baby with? And though I’m still as vain as I was, I do think it’s not worth it to put on some make up while staying at home all day, dealing with baby’s poo and all that.

I did my post natal massage though. I took a five-day package from a Malay lady that my friend recommended. She did an amazing job, although it was a bit painful on the tummy, I lost 10 kg after finishing the massage. I had to wait for two weeks after the operation for this massage. If you had normal labor, then you could start such massage much earlier and thus the result would be more obvious. But who am I to say? Result may vary, of course. As for me, I don’t drink any jamu and hardly wear my binder.

But then again, having to cope with all house chores and a newborn baby would be enough to shed some pounds. How’s your experience?

I think most mothers would dream of having a natural delivery–if they could help it. But there are times when things don’t go as we planned. And although I never thought it would happen to me, it did.

When Adam was still breech in the 38th week of my pregnancy, we finally scheduled for a C-section. I was terrified. But at that time it seemed to be the best option, what with his position and

You can say that the operation has very low risk and all, but anyone would know it’s still a major surgery. I had hemorrhoid operation last year, and I had to wait until 1.5 month to be able to walk normally.

So I was kinda expecting worse things to happen after the C-section procedure, considering that I would have to stay in the hospital for four days. When the gynae asked whether I’d choose regional or general anaesthetics, I was quick to decide GA–because of my fears.

I’ve heard enough tales about C-sections gone bad, and women who undergo it would heal very slowly. Well, turns out that it all depends on ourselves and our pain threshold. Mine is low, but I could already walk–though very very slowly–on the second day after the surgery. In fact, I didn’t feel any pain on the first day, at least not until I started to walk. The pain came right when I began to step, but it was nothing compared to my hemorrhoid operation.

The only setback was that I couldn’t see Adam’s face until the second day, but on the third day I could already breastfeed him. He was cute and healthy–and big.

One week after, I could walk perfectly. I still had not done all house chores, but my condition improved swiftly.

Now it’s exactly 5 weeks after Adam was born. The wound, though still swollen a bit, is looking no more than pigmentation. It’s hardly visible, and only painful when I feel too tired. Otherwise, I have no complaint.

The arguments about this subject will not stop soon, but I’ve learned. Sometimes it doesn’t depend on us. At the end of the day, when you look into your baby’s eyes, you’d just say, “If I had to do it all again, I would do it the same way”. Maybe I’d just choose another hospital.

At last, our bundle of joy has arrived. His name is Adam Sebastian Petreny, born exactly two weeks ago. My apologies for taking so long to update. We all stayed in the hospital for 4 days after the operation, and I’ve been in confinement since then.

Adam was born 3.2 kg and 51.6 cm at birth. He looks more like his daddy, and acts like him too. He rarely cries, only when he’s hungry

The first week was a bit scare for us. He had a little jaundice, and infection–and then had allergic reaction to amoxicillin. Thank God he is fine now, and has gained weight quite a lot.

The surgery wasn’t actually half as painful as I expected it to be. I could already walked on the second day (with lots of assistance, of course!), and I’m recovering well. In fact, I’ve taken off my plaster yesterday. It’s more like pigmentation rather than scar.

I’ll have to cut short here, but I’ll be back with more updates soon.

I’m still in week 38 actually, but I’ve already got the C-section date confirmed. It will be on November 4, which means only six more days! He’s still breech, and his head is too big for my pelvis. His body is rather small though. I’ll still have another appointment with the gynae on Friday. We’ll see whether he’s turned.

Fingers crossed everything should be all right.

— and actually only eight more days before we’ll have to schedule for a C-section

Low back pain is common complaint for pregnant women. I did online research and tried to dismiss the issue, since everyone says it’s normal, it’s bound to happen, yadda yadda yadda.

But there is actually a way or two to lessen the pain. First, mommies, is to get prenatal massage, that is if you don’t mind spending some bucks — because it doesn’t come cheap.

Second, is to sleep on an air mattress. I tried this since last month by accident. The aircon was faulty in our bed room, so we moved to a cooler room and just slept on our air bed queen.

Voila! The next morning I woke up with no back pain at all. I’m no expert, but I suspect this comes from the idea that pregnant women should sleep on their sides, if they experienced back pain. I definitely can’t do that, so I ignore such warnings. But air mattress is so soft that you can sleep on your back without having back pain.

There are things to consider though, before deciding to purchase your own mattress. Maybe it’s better if you read this guide first.

One thing I dreaded about buying maternity clothes in Singapore is the price. During sales you could find nice ones around $40-$50, but most of the time they cost more than that. You can even expect somewhere around $100 if you check local online stores.

No wonder, in some stores you can even rent them. I myself don’t trust such solution. Who knows who have worn them in the past?

So, the only solution is to find better bargain. And this site offers just that: Kiki’s Fashion. Here you can buy cute maternity clothes from as low as USD 9.99.

They’re located in the US, but even with the shipping, it’ll still be cheaper than buying from your local stores.

Currently they offer some promotional coupons. If you reside in the US they’re offering free shipping to your door for purchase above USD 75 (coupon code: freeship). And for all mommies, you’re entitled to 20% discount, which expires on October 22 (coupon code: BIGSAVINGS).

Here, check some of their collections. This shirt, particularly, is definitely something I could wear. What’s better, without any promotion, it’d cost you only USD 19.99 — instead of $100 per piece at your local store.

I’m ballooned to the max now with 54.6 kg. Wonder if I could ever get back to 38?

The baby’s HC is too big, the gynae said. It’s now as if it already hit week 39, while his body is rather small — around 2.3 kg. And he hasn’t turned. Oh well, at least he’s healthy. We’ll wait until the end of this month, and after that we’ll have to schedule for a C-section.

Before that, I’ll be doing my CTG on Friday, and have another series of blood test with my gastroenterologist on Tuesday.

Can’t wait for our baby’s grand arrival. Hopefully nothing will go wrong.

Excited, thrilled, worried — HUNGRY!!!!

Last Saturday the gynae confirmed that our baby’s still breech. For some time about getting an External Cephalic Version (ECV) to try to make him turn. A friend informed me about a gynae who would be able to do it. I had almost made up my mind, when I stumbled upon this article.

Many sources state that this ECV is relatively safe, but that doesn’t mean that there is no risk. Here are some of them:
- Premature labor
- Premature rupture of the membranes
- A small blood loss for either the baby or the mother
- Fetal distress leading to an emergency cesarean delivery
- The baby might turn back to the breech position after the external cephalic version is done

The average success rate is about 65%. Even if the procedure works at first, there’s still a chance that the baby will turn back around to the breech position. That may not sound so bad, but mommies should note that this procedure is very painful. The same friend who informed about the gynae said that her friend opted for C-section after trying this ECV, because she couldn’t stand the pain. Another one told me that she did it, and it left her with pain on her tummy for as long as one week, and even then it didn’t work.

Another thing we should consider, being in Singapore, is the cost. Surely we wouldn’t want anything bad to happen, but in the case of emergencu C-section, it would be a lot more expensive than the scheduled one. Here is an estimated bill size from general hospitals here. If you plan to give birth in a private hospital, expect higher price.

So, for now we’re just hoping for the best, and sticking to the good old ways: lots of squatting, floor mopping and crawling with my head lower than my thighs. There’s still time for our baby to turn — and hopefully he will, being a good boy that he is.

Nobody enjoys to be hospitalized, but sometimes we just can’t escape it. Such is the case with myself a few weeks ago. Fortunately all the staffs in the hospital were being helpful.

One thing which could be improved, though, is the hospital gown. They only provided pants for patients, and those were too difficult to be worn for patients with catheters like me.

So, next time I’m admitted into a hospital — which will be anytime within five weeks from now — I’ll be ready with my own versatile hospital gown.

Don’t you think they look great? They’re provided by a brand called “The Original Healing Threads”, and they’re available online here.

Besides looking good, those gowns also offer more benefits to patients: the front access panels make them comfortable for nursing mommies, the back opening will maintain modesty during breath sounds checks, and the interior pockets will hide your drainage bags. Remember, visitors don’t have to know what you’re dealing with, right?

All garments are said to be soft and comfortable, colorfast, wrinkle resistant, machine washable, and gentle to individuals experiencing sensitive skin.

While most online shops are only accepting orders from within USA, they will ship to your country via UPS International. Thus, all costs will be calculated based on UPS rates.

But the good news is that The Original Healing Threads will give you wholesale pricing if you purchase ten items or more. Prices are varied, depending on the items, but you won’t have to worry about the quality. The Original Healing Threads have made media appearances in magazines and TV programs, such as: Elle Magazine, Grey’s Anatomy, and The Boston Globe.

If you’re not satisfied with your gown, you can call their toll-free number, 1-877-647-3900 to report your problem. You will get refund, but you’d have to be responsible for return shipping the original purchase — that is, of course, in the case if you don’t wish to get a replacement.

Visit their site for more information.