Mirror mirror on the wall…tell me who’s the bitchiest of them all…


Judit Kuchta and Ayu Azhari

Tyra Banks said, “I feel like women hate each other. We’re jealous and it has to stop” I agree. Women competition is always very tough—and stupid, and hilarious all at once. It may get less media covering, but it also does happen to us mere mortals. What do we compete in? While many use career as their reason like Tyra and Naomi; or simply buddy feud like Paris and Nicole (Hilton and Richie, that is); most compete to get more attention from the opposite sex.

I thought things were a little different back there in the jungle called Indonesia. You know; no bikinis, no kissing in public, no porn (porn has more definite meaning there: naked people) on TV, get it? Although women with burqa are quite rare; there’s no way you would see prostitutes on the side of the street. Theoretically women would be less saucy and aggressive. That was what I believed, as I had never caught into any women feud before.

I soon learned the lesson though. On a date with my then fiancé—now my husband, we went to a boutique. The shopkeeper girls were nice with me as they always did; but they were being more “friendly” with my man. While I was at the fitting room, I could hear all their conversation. Surely they knew. Shamelessly they asked for my fiancé’s number with their “ndö klots are on dö téböl” (the clothes are on the table) English. Grrrrr!!!!! It may have something to do with girls’ preference of white men. OK, they were properly dressed; they didn’t wink; nor did they touch him. In any way, it was enough to piss me off. Welcome to the jungle!

Another time we were having lunch with my girl friend. Whenever I was around, this girl never ever cracked a word in English—as if she was allergy to the language. And when I had to wash my hand, she could suddenly become a free tourist guide for him. She was my friend, mind you. Double grrrr!!!!!! Those girls, talking are their expertise; at least in public. Who knows what they are up to when nobody is looking.

There was a saying: as long as the coconut leaves are not bended yet; one is still eligible. In Indonesian wedding, people decorate their house using the bended coconut leaves. So while you haven’t seen those leaves, you are free to approach anyone as you suit. I have found that quite inaccurate. A friend of my friend—let us call her Katie, like Katie Holmes—has even gone too far. She is married to a 40 something Australian man. If the age difference failed to make you puke (Come on, my mom is 44), the next story wouldn’t. When they met, the guy was still married to another woman in Australia. Although Katie denied that she knew his marital status from the start, she never made any efforts to end her relationship afterwards. The man continued to visit her in Jakarta, got her a job and apartment. Apparently he was super duper wealthy. In short, he finally got divorced and married to Katie. And what did Katie said? Secretly, she complained, “I envy his ex wife. She has taken away most of his wealth. If only I knew him before she did…” I said secretly, because sex out of wedlock is a no-no. And what she had done was far beyond the limit from our jungle point of view. However, I doubt that she was the only one to do it.

Such stories may be common here in Europe. Nevertheless they were pretty alarming for me. I mean “wild” would be the last thing to define Indonesian women. But look at those things they do? It made me wonder about what the European counterparts would do given the same situation. Simply kiss the man at the first sight?

I was somewhat prepared for worse things concerning the issue when I moved in with my husband to Budapest. To my surprise, Hungarian ladies are in some ways more polite than the Indonesians. At least no woman has ever asked for my husband’s number in a flirtatious way on my face, phew! Sure women walk around flaunting their flesh—even during winter; but it was not a personal attack against me, so I guess I’m okay with it. It’s still weird to see how the news at prime time shows the making of porn movies as if they were a simple movie shooting though.

One thing is sure: Hungarian has different standard. Which standard is better? Apparently it all depends on your point of view. I am not explaining further on this. To give further picture, however, you may want to read about Miss Indonesia’s controversy. The lass was protested only for wearing swimsuit during Miss Universe pageant. Compare to the Miss World Hungary 2000 who proudly boasted that she dumped Vin Diesel over a Hungarian man. It matters a little whether she was telling the truth
or not; Artika sari Devi would have never said things like these: “Vin is very gallant. “He always sent me a first class plane ticket, a limo and even rented a private plane just so I could hurry to him. I enjoyed that he carried me in his palm, but I didn’t bond with him emotionally, and that hurt him. For example, he was sad that I always got out of bed early, so he couldn’t cuddle me.”

Getting along with a Hollywood hunk is a big thing, but to admit to sleep with one in Indonesia would bring more condemnation than pride. The Indonesian beauty Ayu Azhari knows how it feels like. The actress turned to singer was related to ex While Lion front man Mike Tramp after divorcing from her Fin husband. It happened long before Angelina Jolie even started to woo Brad Pitt while denying it; which means that you should know Ayu Azhari and Mike Tramp were the trendsetters. They refused to be called an item even when they were caught together. The actress is now staying in France after giving birth for Tramp’s baby—allegedly to avoid the public condemnation in Indonesia. Of course nobody would ever criticize them if they ever plan to get married. So, instead of gloating over her “success”, poor Ayu Azhari received the bitter part. Then who is the bitchiest? Life, methinks!

UPDATE:
I received quite hits from this piece. So before things get nasty, I thought I should update the story a little bit. Ayu Azhari has confirmed that Mike Tramp and her were married in a religious ceremony after Mike was converted into Islam–where and how, she wouldn’t say. The baby is called as Isabel Tramp, for those who are curious about the littleone. So, who’s the bitchiest, again?

Related article: It’s Official: Mike Tramp, Ayu Azhari and Baby Isabel