Lately I have scanned interesting views from an Indonesian who is living in the UK here who seemed to have no luck in making friend with Indo people in where he lives; which is posted on a column on an Indonesian ezine. Here is my translated version. Enjoy.


“Hi
…
Just call me Ryan. I am living in a city in England (Praise Lord, I knew how it felt to live in several other countries). I have many unpleasant experiences with Indonesian people abroad; although I NEVER tried to search for any Indonesian community. My acquaintances with them were mostly started by accident; whether it was at the campus, bus, market, restaurant, internet cafe, or any other places. I am in no means of being arrogant, but since I’ve gotten here, I have always decided to be INDEPENDENT.

My father, who used to live in France, often said, “Son, you are lucky that you have the opportunity to live abroad. Therefore, you should do your best! You should learn to understand and appreciate others’ culture. Don’t forget your roots, but never DEPEND on others. Do not beg them; and remember ‘when in Rome, do as Romans do’”.

From my own experience, however, most Indonesian who lives abroad can be categorized into:

First group are those annoying people who always asked you about private things on the first meeting; such as salary, visa, religion (Once I was mad to somebody whom I met in a supermarket. His second question after knowing my name was my religion; as if I would’ve been too dirty to get along with if I had different religion).

Second group are those SPOILT people who constantly complain about the weather; food; how they could never get along with the locals; etc. These people only mingle with other Indonesians. So don’t be surprised that after years of living abroad you could still hear Javanese twang through their awful English. They usually have terrible craving for Indonesian products; like Djisamsoe kretek (cigarette), jengkol (pithecolobium).

Third group are Orang Kaya Baru (OKB/newly rich people). Mostly—though not all—are women who are married to foreigners; those who used to live very poor. Now that they’ve gotten a little richer, they blow things out of proportion. They enjoy showing off so much that it’s hilarious. I remember a friend told me that we could all wear expensive clothes; but our true color will always remain. On this column, for example, I remember a writer was proudly jotting down her address so it could be seen she lived in an elite area.

Fourth Group belongs to those who are lazy. I’m talking about laziness of learning. They think that our culture is the best and therefore not even bother to appreciate the new culture. Doesn’t every culture have its plus/minus? There are many of these people who still have no idea about the art and culture of the country they are living in; not even the basic etiquette; such as to open the door, say thank you, and simple things like them.

Fifth group is the posh. They usually come to live abroad as rich kids sent by their parents to study. In the New Order era, they could be ridiculously rich. They bought new cars like buying peanuts. Spending money was their leisure pursuit. What is funny is that they never flaunted what they had to the locals; because they would only ask,” Wow, you have lots of money. Isn’t Indonesia a poor country?” To avoid such questions, they then chose to interact only with other Indonesians.

I’m not saying that every Indonesian abroad is like them; because I am absolutely not. But the worst, the absolute worst, is that it’s very difficult to meet a sincere Indonesian. They are in fact as rare as Djisamsoe and jengkol. I simply don’t care if I had no Indonesian friend because I have friends from other nations. I do want to have an Indonesian friend, but only the sincere ones. I believe that ‘when in Rome, do as Romans’ do”. (Ryan-England)

Whoa, that cuts like a knife! He believed that not all Indonesian abroad belong to those groups; because he didn’t belong to any of them. But guess what, he had never met anyone else who is “sincere”. Miaow.

This has been originally published here on November 4, 2005