Searching for Utopia

I’d like to comment on Ryan who didn’t want to make friends with Indonesians; except when they are sincere.

I’ve been living in the USA for seven years. So far I enjoy watching people’s behavior—it matters not whether they are immigrants or locals; Indonesian or not. When I read Ryan’s letter, I burst to laugh. Yes, I really laughed out loud. It seems like Ryan was very upset with those people’s characteristics—those he had met. Why did I say people’s characteristics; and not Indonesians’? Because, Ryan, those characteristics you described can be found on many people; and not exclusively attached to Indonesians.

OK, let us discuss the first group, for example. You said they often asked private questions (such as: religion, visa, and salary) upon the first meeting. This kind of questions would mostly annoy those who have long left Indonesia or don’t get along with Indonesian for a long time; like myself. There are not too many Indonesians in the city I’m living in right now, so I kind of understand the feelings.

But try to understand that each custom has its own definition on what appropriate and what’s not. Religion, salary, race, and sex are common questions in Indonesia. Remember when we had to go for an interview; we also had to answer similar questions.

Another thing; questions related to religion—according to my experience—usually led to invitation to celebrate Christmas together, Eidul Fitri together, go to the temple together; which depends on your answer. That’s usually how it starts. There are of course some people who asked it only to have something to talk about; but when you are far from home then you might also want to pray together with friends as what people usually do in Indonesia. So, if you don’t want to answer; instead of getting furious, you could’ve simply smiled and given a rather diplomatic answer like, “That’s my little secret, sir!” When they still insisted, you could always excuse yourself and walk away, don’t you think?

Second group: the spoilt people who speak very bad English and have craving for jengkol chips. Do you think that expatriates in Jakarta (American, French, Korean, or Japanese) can all speak Indonesian well? Do they rather eat fried tofu and not cereal for breakfast? If they were doing that well in adjusting to the new culture, why are there so many supermarkets which are opened only to accommodate their needs? If we followed your definition on adjustment, it means that they should rather eat fried sambal and jengkol instead of meatloaf and potato chips.

It is of course your right to feel infuriated by our people’s inability in speaking correct English and their desire for petai and jengkol. Perhaps for you they don’t want to adjust; and simply not sophisticated (because their breath stinks like jengkol). But that doesn’t mean that they are not qualified and don’t deserve to be appreciated. With some exceptions, many of them are hard working and honest people; just like yourself. They struggle to live in a foreign land. In my own opinion it is not a matter of adaptation; but rather about missing their home land. And by using Djisamsoe and jengkol they can mend it.

For the third and fourth groups, I agree that they are hilarious. However, on my point of view, bragging has nothing to do with one’s citizenship. It rather depends on their personality and background.

For the fifth group, once again, this does not happen only to Indonesians. There are many westerners who have the tendency to be posh—to use your term. They are everywhere and come from many different social levels. Some are obvious and the rest are more concealed. They wear a pair of jeans which cost at least USD 250 and Manolo Blahnik shoes. Plus they might also have luxurious car and house—by taking lots of loans from bank.